Life – it’s finally catching up

So here I am. Sitting at my mess of a desk, finally realizing this is my last year of so many things. My last year in high school. My last year of laziness. My last year of little to no responsibilities. It has all gone by so very fast. Too fast in my opinion. But, thank God, it was, through all its ups and downs, the best time I’ve had so far.

When I think about the beginning of my high school experience all I can do is laugh at how naive I was and how I though I had everything figured out. Cause I knew exactly which grades I wanted and which university I was going to go to and what I was going to do with my life. I was going to study hard, get the best grades, I was going to pass my matura with flying colours and after that I was going to become a veterinarian. I could not have been more wrong.

Sure I’ve always done my best at the whole “school thing” because I’ve always known (my parents made sure of it) that without that i really wouldn’t get far in life (job wise). So, my dear children study hard! šŸ˜‰

And now to year number 2. The year I started out thinking that if I dressed good and acted cool my former crush might see what he was missing out on. No such luck. He wasn’t The One anyway. It took me a while to figure that out, but I did and I’m proud of little me.

That’s a big thing people go through in high school. Young love. No one can avoid it. You meet, you get to know each other, you fall in love and BAM!! it’s all gone.

And I know a lot of girls who have given up on The One, because they’ve been with too many guys who didn’t treat them right – jerks. Can I say that here? Oh well, I already did. Live with it. I mean, I could use other words, but that one isn’t that bad and it about covers it. Anyway I’m getting off topic. Where was I? Oh, right. Jerks. The reason so many of us give up on love. And us girls aren’t the angels we pretend to be. But let me tell you something. As hopeless as the fight for the best fish in the sea might seem, there is hope. I figured that out in my second year and it got confirmed not so long ago. So, please, don’t give up on love. It’s too beautiful to throw out the window, but maybe that’s just the hopeless romantic in me speaking.

The rest of that year I was totally laid back. It was awesome. I didn’t worry about grades as much. Or about how presentable I looked. I’m really actually surprised I didn’t go to school in my sweats or pajamas.

You know how all the teacher scare you into thinking the year you are in now is for sure THE HARDEST YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL. Like EVER. (You know what I’m talking about mr./mrs. teacher). Let me tell you a little secret: It’s only as hard as you make it. The truth is out there. I know a lot of you will probably blame the teacher for making you do extra homework or study every, stinking, useless, last detail. And as much as I might hate myself for saying this, it really is for the best.

Year three wasn’t really that big for me. Mainly, because I think I learned all the big things in my second year anyway. So, no big life lessons in year three.

All I have to say about that year is this: the fazančki (=freshmen in slovene) were unbelievable. They came into the school like they owned the place. And the new batch this year is even worse! I mean, come on! When I was in your shoes I didn’t even have the guts to look a fourth year in the eye and here you are cutting in line at malica(=lunch; forgive my slovenglish, please). Learn the high school food chain. Teachers > fourth years > third years > second years > other school staff > fazančki. It’s really not that hard for your hormone filled head to grasp.
Ok, I had to get that off my chest.

That brings me to this year. The final frontier. The time I’m supposed to see if I’ll be able to face the world, make a place for myself. I’m supposed to know who I’ll become. For some reason I’m more confused than ever. Maybe because no one ever told me how many possibilities I have. Or maybe I was too caught up in the high school daze and wasn’t ready.

You know how every one always tells you that you should start planning while you’ve got the chance? And you’re like nah, I’ve got time. Thats what I did and now I’m not going to college this year, because I just didn’t find the right one in the little time I had. Also, my plan only reaches over the next year. I mean it’s a great plan and I’m super excited, but I sometimes wish I had started moving my lazy butt sooner that the last minute.

To finish this up, I’ll run you through what I figured out in the last four years. The year you are currently in is DEFINITELY the hardest. Young love is not hopeless. The fazančki have got to learn respect. Planning ahead is a good idea. And last, but not least, please, don’t let your teenage hormones take over your brain, because they are out to get you.

Most importantly, before I forget, don’t let anyone keep you from becoming who you were meant to be.

-V